The Choices we Make

23.11.2024 The Choices we Make Blog Entry 14.

       If someone asked me today about getting a service dog, the one thing I would tell them is that it is their choice. The choices we make always have consequences, good or bad.  Before you get a dog, understand what you will be giving up, and be comfortable with the changes you will have to make in order to build a new lifestyle. A dog is a lot of work. Most dogs need a good deal of exercise to be mentally stable companions who are peaceful to live with. Even with a high degree of training, dogs still do dog things. While some dogs will take to training better or worse than others, there will often be a few things yours does that could impact your life. They bark at the door, they jump on guests, they pull on the leash, they roll in the mud, they howl when they are lonely.

After undergoing intensive training, Spirit reminds us that sometimes a beautiful view is worth bending the rules for. I decided she was right - but then again she usually is.

Sure, dedicated training can curb a great deal of behaviors, but it would be naive to think that training alone will stop your dog from ever expressing emotions- and they often express them in ways you may not instantly love.I find a bit of empathy for your furry friend goes a long way. Having a dog will likely mean certain types of activities become inaccessible to you, or more expensive. For example, I love to party, and going to University with Spirit has meant that I cannot just go clubbing whenever I want. Getting a part time job has also been more challenging with her. She is not trained to be left alone, and we are often living in environments where its not an option. Even though she is a service dog, it does not mean workplaces will easily accomodate this. Yes, a lot of separation anxiety can be worked on, but it is not always so simple. When we lived on residence we had an easier time, but I have found since moving to our new house, it has been difficult leaving Spirit home with my roommates. While I miss out on the freedom to have any night life I want, Spirit gladly joins us at smaller bars and pubs. I cannot bed rot for days because she has exercise needs. Even when choosing a major, I kept in mind how weeks full of long labs impacted Spirit.

Even with accommodations, after a year of chemistry I saw how many hours Spirit spent bored, uncomfortable, or in a down stay behind a barrier. I changed majors to offer a lifestyle that worked for both of us while still leading to a job.

       Sacrifices are not always a bad thing. While Spirit means that nights out, going to concerts, or traveling requires more planning, she adds a lot to my life as well. She gave me back my confidence and independence. I’ve made many friends whose idea of a fun activity is going for a group run, hiking in the forest, or other adventures which fit in with Spirit’s needs perfectly. I still go out to bars with her, often where she is the life of the party. For travel, Spirit always joins me, flying in planes, riding trains, and taking buses like a pro. Certain events are not going to be in our itinerary, and sometimes I have to find a trusted pet sitter for the evening if I still want to experience things in a life a service dog cannot safely do. For example, a friend and I went camping – a perfect dog friendly activity. We decided to go horse back riding on the way but Spirit couldn't join. I found a pet sitter who could watch Spirit for 3 hours. It only cost $20 and meant that we did not have to sacrifice too much. On the camping trip, we had to consider leash laws, delicate ecosystems, and balancing Spirit's emotional need for freedom with respect for the environment. With the right gear and planning, this is an easy to navigate problem but it does add stress at times to be tethered to a dog who despite years of quality training, still wants nothing more than to run free. When we travel together, sometimes Spirit is a perfect service dog, and sometimes she cries, whines, pulls, or adds stress. She has needs like every living being. This is the choice I made when I got her. As much as I am her responsibility to keep safe, she is mine. I promised to protect, love, honor, and cherish her. Without me, she has no rights or freedom, it's my duty to consider her safety at all times. If you decide to get a dog, and it jumps on guests, you better be prepared for the reality that even with training, it might happen and you have to be responsible for the situation.

It's Copper in this picture, but having a dog doesn't have to come between you and your social life, you will find the people who are compatible with your dog-centric life.

Having guests over will now have a new element of problem solving to make sure you, your canine partner, and your guests all feel safe, respected, and considered. If you have a good attitude about it and do whatever training you can, you will continue loving your life. However, if you allow your dog to become a menace, or have a strong reaction towards this kind of chaos, or blame the guest you may find yourself becoming resentful or creating relationships with conflict. If you cannot imagine yourself coping with these added elements of chaos, think twice about if adding a dog to your life makes sense.

She might not go clubbing, but she does have bars named after her.

       Now, the trade off for extra costs, planning, and chaos is a best friend to adventure with, play fetch with, and a whole new world perspective. With Spirit, a lake I would usually only look at becomes an opportunity for fetch and hours of good fun. A rainy day is no longer a reason to stay indoors, and I find myself having many more hours of adventure. Although sometimes it can be a bit anxiety inducing to have friends over incase she barks and they are annoyed, or incase someone is fearful or allergic, we have made dozens more friends who love her as much as I do. So many doors have opened including making friends with other dog owners, planning playdates, training together, and joining weekly walking groups. I truly do believe that the more you do with your dog, the more they add to your life. Dressing Spirit up, bringing her around to meet people in schools and other spaces, and taking part in dog training classes has given me so many memories I will cherish for decades to come. No matter what you do in life, there is always a cost. I gave up certain kinds of freedom for days wandering in the forest and a freedom characterized by the support of my service dog. I still get my taste of partying and spontaneity, but I lose some of reckless abandon. It is only on the days that I let myself be jealous or resentful, that my choice to have Spirit comes into question. On the days where I stand firmly in my choices and embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly, then it becomes clear to me that she is everything I’ve ever wanted.

       So, if you are thinking of getting a dog, know that they will change things. You may find that your once clean house is covered in mud, or that your favorite white shirt has a custom paw print design. You may also find that your home becomes alive with joy, friendship, and that every patch of grass becomes an opportunity for exploration. Spirit has been a great adventure buddy.

Camping with a dog requires training, respecting leash laws, but look at that face! She's always ready for adventure.

She has allowed me to see the world with love, optimism, and most of all she forces me to recognize just how limited our time together is. She makes every day count, she doesn't just keep me surviving, she keeps me alive. Sure, there are certain routes which I need to replan to make them accessible for her, but she is worth it. We don’t give up when things get difficult, and we don’t just do whatever is easiest. The fittest people struggled at the gym for months, the fastest racer pushed themselves past their comfort zone hundreds of times, the best scientists dealt with disappointing lab results for years to finally prove their experiment. The greatest accomplishments take time, dedication, and action. You will need to make choices along the way and you will need to stand firm in those choices even when in the moment you might have doubts. Even when the world doesn't understand you. So, if you’ve decided that the sacrifice is worth the potential gains, go for it and be confident in the life you choose for yourself. After all, this is your life, and only you can live it for you.

Without a doubt,

-Julia & Spirit