.png)
Evolving Cycles
- Julia Silverman
- Nov 5, 2025
- 6 min read
I started this morning ready to write a blog post, it's been a long time and I have been BUSY. Between starting to train service dogs again to developing the Spirited Canines tech brand, there's little time to focus on anything else. When not working on developing a business you'll find me trail running, climbing, or running around town with Copper & Spirit making friends and memories. A lot has happened since my last post. I was going to Toronto, Quebec, Ottawa, and Squamish BC with my boyfriend en route to Munich. I had worked hard for 2 years to be ready for Germany - I had a position there as a language teaching assistant, housing lined up, and my bags packed. At the last second I got a higher paying internship through the Memorial Center for Entrepreneurship to focus full time on creating Spirited Canines. I changed my flights from Germany to Toronto, grabbed my car (named Dragonfly) and my first dog (Copper!) and booked it back to St. John's.
Though I had been working to go to Germany for 2 years, I promised Copper I'd always be there 10 years ago and started working on Spirited Canines 4 years ago. I am by no means quitting on Germany - I fully intend to go back there either for a year to be a language teaching assistant and/or for my masters degree, though BC, France, and Spain are also on the table. I decided to use this time to get stable. I can build an online business (in progress!) collect all the gear I need for climbing (nearly complete - I can go top roping), and put myself in the best position so when I make my next move, I can do so from a position of strength, not dependence.
When I went to post this morning, I went into my history of pre-written posts and chose the following at random. Its funny, as I read it over I realized I chose a post that nearly perfectly mirrors where I am today. I had titled it 'Closing Cycles' at the time it felt appropriate, today its almost ironic how appropriate it is. Its cool to see how each year patterns reveal themselves but they don't just revolve - they evolve. At the time of the last post I was lonely, felt rejected, but was also determined to create a better narrative for myself. Today I'm sitting in the kitchen of my boyfriend whose family has taken me in. I drink a warm mug of coffee while his sister gets ready for class and my boyfriend makes me breakfast.
I'm looking at getting funding so that this time I won't only support myself, but I can create income so my friends can work with me. Rather than thinking about wanting to be seen by someone who doesn't see me, I'm thinking about whether William and I will move to Lagos, Ceuse, Munich, or Squamish next and whether or next move will be together, or a chapter of independence as we both make choices for ourselves. I thought I'd share the original post for reference:
06-10-2024: Blog Entry 5. Closing Cycles
Its been a hot minute since I’ve written anything, my social media posting has also been nearly non existent! Alas, I have no fear 😊 I trust that this is all just a part of the process. Its funny, a year ago I would be so angry with myself for all these perceived failures, but now I don’t have that same attachment – I’ve been out here, living life! I trust that all my plans will come together. For once, I can focus on all my successes. So what have I been doing? Let me tell you. I am currently writing this from a plane going from Toronto back to St. John’s. I was visiting a friend I made in Germany, interviewing different businesses for my research, and reconnecting with old friends. Its crazy to me that sometimes we can look back and see our growth real time. So many cycles have been closed out. The last time I was in Europe. I went to Poland, visiting death camps, and came with several of my relationships falling apart – my mom, my best friends, my boyfriend. This time, I am coming back from 2 months learning a new language in Germany, visiting opera houses, symphonies, museums and more. I came back with friendships made across the globe and got to share my home with those friends.
My last time in Europe, I was laughed at for the idea of having a service dog. This time I am coming back with Spirit at my side having conquered nearly 20+ plane rides and having visited so many cities across Canada and Europe. I finally have a vision for a future in stark contrast from my old mindset of hopelessness and apathy. I have dreams to make a positive impact on the world by sharing my love for life with those around me. I believe in myself, and I trust the process that everything will work out one way or another. Last time, I had just broken up with my boyfriend and was not sure if I would ever find a relationship I wanted to keep. This time, I know that all my love exists within, and I have hope that there are romances ahead of me. While I still face rejection, it somehow has not impacted my idea of love or of any future relationships when the one for me does come around.
Visiting Toronto only highlighted to me all the other ways I have grown. Visiting my old live gave me a fresh perspective on who I have become. The version of myself I knew was there finally gets to shine through. I no longer feel like I need to diminish myself to fit in. I have friends who share the same hobbies as me, support me, and take initiative. I. I feel so loved and supported. I started standing up for myself.. Seeing my old friends sends me a wave of emotions. It was great to see them growing in their careers, they told me all about the concerts they've been going to and the places they've travelled to. I hope they find their way to live the life of their dreams . I honestly do want to see them happy and healthy and regret any conflict that came between us.
It was not easy. I had to relearn and unlearn hundreds of toxic behaviors. I had to take accountability, take action, and do the work. I chose this life. I chose being healthier, more stable, and more secure. People seem to think it works the other way; that once I am healthy, once my anxiety isn’t so bad, once I have the motivation, then my life will be good. I have found it to be the exact opposite. You have to choose to live a good life. Even when - or especially when- life is at its worst you have to choose to do better for yourself. No matter how many times you fail and find yourself on the ground sobbing and believing your world is ending, you have to choose the good life. Then through the struggle, you become the version of yourself you knew you could be. You have to face anxiety. If you aren’t choosing to overcome your fears, you are choosing to let them rule you. Everything you want, all your potential lies just on the other side of the struggle. This is YOUR life, and only you can choose how you’re going to live it. So what are you going to choose?
With ferocious determination,
- Julia and Spirit
--- A little over a year later, and the same holds true. I'm doing everything I said I would. I hiked the east coast trail, I went back for Copper, I started an online business and service dog training business, and I have everything I need to become the climber I promised myself I'd become. I found a partner who tells me he loves me every day, puts up with my worst moods, and believes that my dreams are real and obtainable.
I am surrounded by friends in my corner, community support, and validation to keep going. Life isn't always perfect, I still find myself having fears, anxieties, and bad days. But I'm sure with a change in mindset and an optimistic attitude that I'll see just how fortunate I am. Its not everyday you get to say 'I see everything I have ever dreamed of slowly coming true right infront of me, with all the support from the universe I could possibly need to make it happen.
With Gratitude,
Julia
Comments