It Dawned on Me.

05.08.2025 The Moment it Dawned on Me: How I got here and where I'm going.

I want to tell you a little more about my mission. In 2021 I was coming out of a dark period of my life - that was the year I went cold turkey on every substance I was addicted to and got my life together. It started slowly and was a grueling process. At my worst, I was sleeping or high 18 hours a day ( I was not taking on client's dogs at this time, don't worry) and severely agoraphobic. At the moment I decided to get better, coming down from a bad trip while laying in a dark cold cellar, I quit all drugs/alcohol/smoking, and got to work. It started with a point tracking system - brushing my teeth earned me 5 points, doing an hour of desk work earned 25, but playing video games cost 50 points per hour. I slowly built myself up. Every thousand steps counted. I have to be kind to myself, when I first got Spirit I brought her for runs and beach days, but there was also a dark period where most of her exercise came in the form of trick training, playing in the house, or play dates with other dog friends. I knew we both deserved better. I built up to waking up at 4am, biking 20k per day, training every morning in a big empty field, and running 5-10kms several times per week. I went back to get my high school diploma with a 94% average which lead to acceptance into every program I applied for. I worked hard but more than that, I started dreaming again.

I love this photo taken in August 2022. It was my big trip out to BC to visit my sister. I was finally healthy enough to be fully present with my loved ones. A few days after this, I told them I was moving to the East Coast to start a new life. So much has happened in these 3 years. I'm excited to go back this august, now with my partner William. I started dreaming again and haven't stopped.

At the height of my mental illness, from 2017-2021, I had stopped envisioning any sort of future for myself. As I started to get better I surrounded myself with mentors and loving people who lifted me up. I remember one specific Saturday I was at the Halpern's for lunch. They are a family who gave me that extra bit of love when I desperately needed it. I truly believe they gave me back my life. That Saturday I was telling them about my dream; about how I wanted to go back to school and give back to the world. I was sharing my visions for hiking around the world, biking, training dogs, and expressed interest in environmental stewardship. Rhonda chimed in " You should watch the Dawn Wall, its a documentary about this guy who completes one of the most incredible climbs in the world. You would love it, you remind me of him... not because he's a man, but because you have that drive and wild heart." (or something along those line, it was a long time ago and I'm paraphrasing).

I tried going climbing with my sister a few times in 2021 - I did not get very far.

I went home and ignored the suggestion, but she kept pushing me. One night, I got cozied up to watch it with the dogs. I was all in. At that moment I decided - This is the life I want. Not his life, but the life of accomplishing incredible, nearly impossible feats. The dedication, brilliance, and the channeling of pain into relentless power resonated with me. I got back to work and doubled down on my studying. I was not sure how I would get to the top of the dawn wall; after all I had only been climbing in a gym a handful of times. I was scared of the mall - climbing a several thousand foot tall wall of smooth granite was a few multiverses away. Regardless, I put my head down and got to work. I tried going back to the climbing gym in Toronto while still battling my own demons. I did not get very far but was certain that my story was not over.

In April 2022 my grandmother died. She gifted me $5,000. On my last visit to her several months before her passing she told me she was giving me the money and that she wanted me to send myself or otherwise change my life around. She gave me time to think about how I would use the funds - about what life I wanted. Her last sentence to me, written on the back of an envelope as the ALS had already taken her ability to speak was "Julia, this is your life, and only you can live it for you". That spring I used the money to buy everything I would need for my new life. A sleeping bag, backpack, mountain bike, hiking boots, and climbing shoes. The rest of the money went towards tuition. I was not sure how I was going to hike across the world or climb its tallest walls, but I was convinced buying shoes was probably a good starting point. That summer I started going on solo camping and backpacking trips. I started doing 60km and 80km overnights. It was scary and difficult but I was fulfilling my destiny with every step.

My first solo backpacking trip. I was so scared. This was the moment I decided to go to St. John's. I was 22 and felt that my entire life was ahead of me - I was barely getting started.

On my first overnight backpacking trip I was grappling with fears about the future. I had been accepted to Dalhousie and Waterloo University for Engineering and York University for Environmental Conservation. I was waiting to hear back from Memorial University but I wasn't concerned. Alone with my dogs and the trees a little whisper told me to go to St. John's because my life was waiting for me there. A few days later at 3am I booked my plane ticket and told no one. On august 24th while visiting my sister in BC I was accepted to start in September. I told my family that week and that was that. I landed in St. John's with a billion dreams, my backpack, service dog, bike, and climbing shoes. I was convinced this was the first day of the rest of my life. Finally, I would stop wasting away and would check off everything on my bucket list. I figured I had about 78 years to do it:

Hike the East Coast Trail

Hike the Pacific Crest Trail

Hike the Arizona Trail Hike the Continental Divide Trail

Hike the Camino

Contribute to Environmental Activism

Bike Across Canada Bike Across Europe

Bike From Canada to Mexico

Travel the World

Learn 6 languages

Develop some technologies I had dreamed up

Work on my business

Help at Risk Youth

Contribute to World Peace

Make the most of the rest of Spirit's Life

Find the Love of my Life

Climb the Dawn Wall.

One of the most impossible feats on the planet.

I was not sure how, but I knew I would get there. I spent my first years of university asking anyone I could about how to do the East Coast Trail. I did a few small test runs. I joined the MUN Outdoor Adventure Society as an event coordinator and helped the Grad Student Outdoor Adventure Society get off the ground. I helped the Alpine Club of Newfoundland and Labrador run the Reel Rock festival on campus in the hopes of making connections with the climbing community. I had no clue how I was going to climb the climbs from these movies, but I figured meeting some climbers was a good place to start. In the summer that The Cove Cafe and Climbing opened, I planned to join. It took me several months and a few emails asking about events, but I finally made it. I did everything I could to create connections with fellow adventurers - surely there had to be someone out there who could help me find the path to The Dawn Wall. My progress in the gym was slow. I watched other climbers surpass me and saw myself falling further behind with bouts of sickness and injury. I knew where I was going though. I trust myself; I accept these things as part of the process, I cannot look at my failures with judgment and I cannot look at others with self doubt nor with envy.

As I get stronger, faster, lighter, and more connected I feel myself living my destiny. I know this is going to be a magical life. The best is yet to come. I am so grateful to be alive and loved.

I keep showing up. I keep working towards my various goals. I built up my mental resilience, learned German, went to Germany, and continued finding my way. At the same time I was frequenting the center for Entrepreneurship. Again I did not know how I would make all the things work at the same time, but I guessed showing up in these spaces was likely a good first step. I still trust that I am going exactly where I am meant to go. I trust myself and I trust the universe.

I trust myself so much for one simple reason: I know why I want to do the things I do. I want to prove to myself that mind is stronger than matter. I want to prove to myself that all my preconceived notions that I am not capable are dead wrong. I want to be a champion of myself. I want to push myself past the limit, define new limits, and make the most of my short life. I want to take all the pain and transmute it into power. I want to stand on top of the world and say to myself: I did it. I carried myself across the world with love, joy, humility, and a dedication so strong and unbreakable that the odds cease to matter. I believe in something bigger than myself, and have this undying drive to face the awesomeness of the universe with the awareness that no matter how big my accomplishments, I am dust. With a clear why, I trust that the how will reveal itself to me if I show up and invite the universe to meet me there. So through my failures and confusion of not knowing how to start, I keep blindly throwing myself into the universe. I think I am slowly gaining more sight to my vision.

Sometimes when I don't know where to begin I get up at sunrise and just start walking - I don't know where I'm going, but I'm sure I'll know when I get there.

Finally, it Dawned on me. If I want to climb the dawn wall, its simple - I have to go do it. I can travel the world living in different countries with world class climbing as my story unfolds before me. If I keep showing up with optimism in the spirit of friendship and wonder then maybe,, just maybe, I will make it to the top of that wall one day. That way I can keep learning languages while dedicating my life to climbing. I am convinced I can complete all my hiking and biking adventures either later in life, or during rest periods from climbing. I can walk the world and ride the waves of life until I stand at the edge of that cliff with pain behind me and creation before me. After all, a lot can happen in 20 years. I can continue developing my business as I apply myself to that wall. I can focus on offering online services and create revenue from an online shop. I can offer intensive training jumpstart bootcamps and workshops around the world. If I want to do more hands-on work, I can offer my program as a 1 or 2 year package and sell it specifically in the country I am in for that 1-2 year block. It Dawned on me - in order to climb the dawn wall, I simply have to go do it. Afterall, this is my life, and only I can climb it for me.

With an almost stupid level of determination,

-Julia